My heart is cautious.
My soul is wary.
My mind is sceptical.
I see your efforts.
I accept your apologies.
I know you mean well.
Yet, I cannot let you walk back in nonchalantly.
You see, you ravaged my heart.
I need time to heal.
The tower of trust needs to be nourished, rebuilt, and consolidated by you.
I allowed you into my abode.
I trusted you.
You sat down comfortably and enjoyed the finest delicacies that I had laid before you.
My soul sang for joy in your presence.
I was finally at home with my kindred spirit, so I thought.
I closed my eyes in bliss and lay my head on your shoulder in sweet and trusting abandon.
You pounced on me and laid my land desolate.
I am now rebuilding the ruins of my fortified city.
When I finish restoring my soul, I will hunt you down.
I will recover and bring back all my treasures that you took as spoil.
An empty, defeated, sad smirk took over her countenance.
She hung up the phone.
Her renegade mind wandered in the somber forest of tormenting thoughts.
She crumpled into a weary, defeated mess.
The weight of her responsibilities smothered her.
I have found my way, finally!
I have found me, honestly?
I am in my lane, my own; it’s dreamy.
I am speaking my heart, my passion.
I have finally given voice and life to my purpose.
It’s thrilling, exhilarating, daunting, and frightening.
Yet, how I feel so alive!
It felt strange.
She peered keenly at the sign on the entrance wall of the general practician’s office.
Her familiar family doctor had retired.
She gazed pensively at the notice that announced it.
He had told her that he was going to retire at the end of the year.
But, for some strange reason, she felt bereft.
A chapter of her life had come to a close.
He had tended to her and her family for many years.
She hadn’t even thanked him, she mused wistfully.
I woke up today, angry.
My blood is simmering.
I scowl at my cat.
My eyebrows knit as I glare at the kitchen door.
I look around to find somewhere to vent my rage.
My flaring nostrils are baffled by an enticing aroma.
The sweet enchanting smell gently woos me into the kitchen.
My annoyance grudgingly releases me.
The rich aroma of coffee hugs and kisses my lips.
I sigh, and finally, my anger evaporates.
She stood petrified.
She couldn’t tear her livid eyes from the scene unfolding before her.
She looked on in fascinated horror.
The enraged mob swayed and swelled in their bloodthirsty rhythm.
The murderous crowd closed in on the hapless pickpocket who wailed and begged for mercy.
She trembled with uncontrolled fear knowing that the man would receive no mercy.
For, mob justice gave no clemency.
I failed yet again.
I never intended things to unfold as they have.
I push you to the edge.
I leave you vulnerable and open to your foes.
Oh, how do I right these wrongs?
How do I take back these clumsy words uttered?
How do I enlighten you and help you build your broken esteem?
I am at a loss for my esteem is groveling and needs a pick me up.
She sat mesmerized.
She was under a spell.
His smile wooed and beaconed her.
It sang hypnotizing songs that numbed her reason.
Her emotions rebelled against her.
They tore down the citadel of her guarded heart.
They threw themselves into his awaiting dungeon of seduction.
I am loud.
I am determined.
I am rigid.
I have the right answers.
Yet, this nagging feeling never leaves me.
What if I am mistaken?
What if the most important thing is listening and seeing you for who you are?
I should stop trying to fix you or fight your battles.
I look at him and feel so helpless.
He is closed up in his pain and anger.
He whistles a deceptive joyful tune while going about his business as usual.
The wall of silence between us is the red flag warning that all is not well.
For you see, I am an ostrich too.
I have buried my head in the sand of denial, self-pity, and fault finding.
I don’t loathe you.
I don’t despise you.
I am bitter and angry at you, much less now.
I hate you no more.
I keep removing the scab from my heart, thinking that the wound has healed.
But it bleeds afresh.
I will no longer make-believe.
I will let things be.
I will give myself time.
I will allow myself to fully and truly heal.
Her blood boiled.
Her nostrils flared.
She spat blazing sulphur.
The inferno within her erupted and scorched everything in its wake.
After she had spent all her anger, she beheld the scene of desolation.
Her wanton rage had ravaged the land of relationship.
Her voice was deadly calm.
Her eyes were cold fiery glowing embers that could melt the hardest diamond.
She moved lithely and grabbed his chin.
She tilted his head back so that their gaze locked.
Then she powered molten venom down his soul.
Each of her words lacerated and mutilated his heart.
She is lethal.
Her eyes throw flaming darts with surgical precision.
Your heart is her target.
For those who believe that they are masters of the game, watch out.
Don’t think that she is easy to tame.
Even though you have a long list of past conquests, be vigilant.
Wake up from your deceptive slumber.
She is on the prowl.
She will pounce and close in on your jugular.
Please do come in.
Feel at ease.
Welcome to my abode.
Do keep in mind to watch your step.
Very few who venture in here are lucky to be allowed back in.
So please don’t take for granted the fact that I have let you into my holy of holies.
The price to pay is high.
The exchange currency is swinging open the doors of your heart and bearing your soul as I have done.
She stole glances at him.
She didn’t want him to know just how deep he had gotten under her skin.
She rolled the thought over in her mind until she was dizzy.
A weary sigh inched its way out of her cautious heart.
Looking around for a place to conceal her vulnerable estate, her mind frowned.
It was too late to hide.
Her heart had already surrendered and was wearing a stupid happy grin on its face.
Comfort came to me from a place I never expected.
I had frantically sought solace from my entourage.
I thought that they would minister to my starving, emaciated soul.
They left me languishing and dying of thirst.
It was the end of me.
But, a familiar stranger reached out to me and let me drink my fill from their fountain.
Liar liar, come out of your lair.
Now, it is so clear the way you fib.
You deceive and make-believe to build up your importance.
Be your authentic self.
For lies are a rolling stone that gathers momentum.
Beware, the avalanche of falsehood will crush you.
I look at the scattered fragments of my heart.
My soul is in shreds.
I take a deep breath and painstakingly pick up the pieces.
It gradually dawns on me that this isn’t the end.
It’s a new beginning.
I will build my life again, brick by brick.
It will be stronger and lovelier than before.