She sat mesmerized.
She was under a spell.
His smile wooed and beaconed her.
It sang hypnotizing songs that numbed her reason.
Her emotions rebelled against her.
They tore down the citadel of her guarded heart.
They threw themselves into his awaiting dungeon of seduction.
I am loud.
I am determined.
I am rigid.
I have the right answers.
Yet, this nagging feeling never leaves me.
What if I am mistaken?
What if the most important thing is listening and seeing you for who you are?
I should stop trying to fix you or fight your battles.
I look at him and feel so helpless.
He is closed up in his pain and anger.
He whistles a deceptive joyful tune while going about his business as usual.
The wall of silence between us is the red flag warning that all is not well.
For you see, I am an ostrich too.
I have buried my head in the sand of denial, self-pity, and fault finding.
I don’t loathe you.
I don’t despise you.
I am bitter and angry at you, much less now.
I hate you no more.
I keep removing the scab from my heart, thinking that the wound has healed.
But it bleeds afresh.
I will no longer make-believe.
I will let things be.
I will give myself time.
I will allow myself to fully and truly heal.
Her blood boiled.
Her nostrils flared.
She spat blazing sulphur.
The inferno within her erupted and scorched everything in its wake.
After she had spent all her anger, she beheld the scene of desolation.
Her wanton rage had ravaged the land of relationship.
Her voice was deadly calm.
Her eyes were cold fiery glowing embers that could melt the hardest diamond.
She moved lithely and grabbed his chin.
She tilted his head back so that their gaze locked.
Then she powered molten venom down his soul.
Each of her words lacerated and mutilated his heart.
She is lethal.
Her eyes throw flaming darts with surgical precision.
Your heart is her target.
For those who believe that they are masters of the game, watch out.
Don’t think that she is easy to tame.
Even though you have a long list of past conquests, be vigilant.
Wake up from your deceptive slumber.
She is on the prowl.
She will pounce and close in on your jugular.
Please do come in.
Feel at ease.
Welcome to my abode.
Do keep in mind to watch your step.
Very few who venture in here are lucky to be allowed back in.
So please don’t take for granted the fact that I have let you into my holy of holies.
The price to pay is high.
The exchange currency is swinging open the doors of your heart and bearing your soul as I have done.
She stole glances at him.
She didn’t want him to know just how deep he had gotten under her skin.
She rolled the thought over in her mind until she was dizzy.
A weary sigh inched its way out of her cautious heart.
Looking around for a place to conceal her vulnerable estate, her mind frowned.
It was too late to hide.
Her heart had already surrendered and was wearing a stupid happy grin on its face.
Comfort came to me from a place I never expected.
I had frantically sought solace from my entourage.
I thought that they would minister to my starving, emaciated soul.
They left me languishing and dying of thirst.
It was the end of me.
But, a familiar stranger reached out to me and let me drink my fill from their fountain.
Liar liar, come out of your lair.
Now, it is so clear the way you fib.
You deceive and make-believe to build up your importance.
Be your authentic self.
For lies are a rolling stone that gathers momentum.
Beware, the avalanche of falsehood will crush you.
I look at the scattered fragments of my heart.
My soul is in shreds.
I take a deep breath and painstakingly pick up the pieces.
It gradually dawns on me that this isn’t the end.
It’s a new beginning.
I will build my life again, brick by brick.
It will be stronger and lovelier than before.
I move forward.
The fog of depression is clearing.
I am face to face with myself.
I see the shame, pain, fear, guilt, deceit, molestation, and machinations.
It’s not pretty, but it’s my journey.
I can finally heal, for I know where I am.
I am breaking off the chrysalis of what I went through.
So take heart, dear me, you are already halfway there.
I am coming forth, a butterfly.
I am a phoenix rising from the ashes of my brokenness.
She stared intently at the door.
Her heart squirmed and beat erratically.
Everything within her screamed with terror.
She reached out her shaking hands.
Her clumsy, sweaty palms grasped and turned the doorknob.
The door creaked, groaned, and gave way grudgingly.
She stood frozen as the door to her past opened before her.
She is regal.
She is strong.
She is forceful.
She is resilient.
She is cocky.
She is restless.
She is insecure.
She is scared.
She is weak.
She is fearful.
She wraps her tender spots in armour.
So that none can perceive the petrified little girl hidden within.
She has perfected her disguise.
She stands tall.
All we see is a strong, sure-footed woman.
She is panic-stricken.
She is petrified.
She is terror-stricken.
Her mind is a ticking time bomb.
The daily pressures and uncertainties hold her hostage.
They threaten to blow up her soul into oblivion.
The words flew and swirled in the air.
They were carried and directed by the wind of camaraderie.
They soared higher as the joyful hearts exploded in a lovely kaleidoscope.
Their minds broke forth from the winter of loneliness.
A rainbow of orange, yellow, and light green hues illuminated their spring.
Encouraging, edifying discourse they shared electrified the air.
The sweet-scented smell of a ripe mango wafted around them.
Their soul rejoiced as they ate the delectable fruit of a healthy relationship.
Be not dismayed; I haven’t rejected you.
Be not dejected; I haven’t dislodged you from my life.
I only need a moment to catch my breath.
For you see, life caught me unawares.
It flogged me and left me for dead.
I am barely getting back on my feet.
So bear with me, take it slow.
Give me time to heal.
Stand by me.
I find great solace in your presence.
Don’t let my closed countenance deceive you.
My secret garden you violated.
My holy of holies you desecrated.
You disguised yourself as a friend.
But, you were a wolf in sheep clothing.
Unaware, I opened wide the gates of my sheep pen.
You abused me; devoured and destroyed all I held dear.
I am rare.
What a strange thought.
I had never looked at it from this angle.
I am bizarre.
I am different.
I am rough around the edges.
I don’t fit in.
I am the odd one out.
But, never did I realize that I wasn’t typical.
I am stellar; hence I don’t fit in the crowd.
I am exceptional; that is why I don’t follow the flock.
I am a trailblazer.
I forge my unique path.
I am fully and truly me.