HOPELESS

She holds on, convincing herself that all will be well.

She looks on the bright side. Convincing herself that she will rise again stronger than before.

She faces head-on, the rising tide of a malady in her beloved’s life.

 

Oh, broken expectations that choke her, as the reality hoped for fades away like mist in the noonday sun.

Oh, hope gone leaving no recollection of its brief sojourn on her now dry, parched heart.

Her heart is now discouraged, disillusioned, distressed, disturbed, distraught, disbelieving, distanced.

She deems her dreams dislocated, disbanded for her loved one is deceased.

 

ALIVE!

Today, I laughed as I haven’t laughed in a long time.

Today, I cried like I haven’t cried in a long time.

Today, I have received consolation like I haven’t in a long time.

Today I have lived.

 

DEAR FRIEND

I have not spoken to you for a while.

I have not heard your smiley voice for a while.

I have enjoyed reading the text messages you sent me.

I have enjoyed those lovely photos you sent me.

 

I know that neither the phone calls nor the text messages tell it all.

I know that the cute pictures you send don’t tell it all.

I know that there are things too weighty to send by text message.

I know that there are tears I cannot wipe because you are far away.

 

Oh, but do know this my dear friend, my little sister.

 

You are always on my mind.

You are always in my prayers.

You are always my precious friend.

You are always my precious little sister.

 

It’s too harsh at times that I know.

It’s too heavy to bear at times that I know.

It’s lonely and depressing at times I understand.

It’s scary and frightening at times I understand.

 

Oh, but do know my dear little sister, my friend.

 

You are loved.

You are precious.

You are stronger than you think.

You are wiser, gentler than you think.

 

Don’t give up.

Don’t give in.

Don’t break down.

Don’t burn out.

 

You are not alone. Loving, tender arms are around you daily.

You are not alone. Lovely lady flowers, little boy’s tiny fingers, and chubby cheeks are encouraging you.

You are not alone. Your love is by your side daily.

You are not alone. Look around and see these friendly faces that cheer you on daily.

 

Oh, my dear Ronnie, text me, call me. For the silence between speaks volumes.

 

 

SOAR!

You came with those hesitant tiny steps and a big dream.

You struggled to find your thread in this tapestry called life.

You accepted that this strand that is your life spanned from a faraway nation. To this new country, you now call home.

You learned a language that wasn’t yours.

You adopted your new life, new country, new family.

You cried, laughed, rebelled, yelled, fell and stood up again.

Your heart overflowed with love. Each new arrival at home mesmerized and amazed you.

You cuddle, hug, and even reprimand them at times. Yes, you do!

You are a big sister who tends to mother them!

You were in doubt at the crossroad of your high school final years.

You wondered which road to take.

You chose one direction, then turned to another in confusion.

You wept in frustration, doubting yourself, your world seemingly chaotic.

You then stood up, leaning and holding onto the loving arms outstretched to guide you.

You accepted the help, but not without a gusty fight, trying to have your way.

You have a mind of your own and a strong will. It is a good thing.

You chose this road you are now on.

You followed the deep desire you had within you.

You pressed on even though the dream was vague and seemed impossible.

You failed at your first attempt to achieve your goal.

You almost threw in the towel.

You wailed and wept.It was a good thing for you grew.

You stood up again and moved forward one hesitant yet resolute step after the other.

You’ve made it.

You’ve achieved your goal at last.

You tell me that the journey has just begun.

You are right, but the foundation you laid down, in the beginning, is priceless.

Soar, fly dear.

Fix your eyes ahead of you.

Focus on the price that is your dream.

You will fall again.

You will fail again.

You will hurt again.

In all this, one thing remains true.

You will stand again.

You will grow yet again.

You will be wiser.

You will refine and hold tighter to your dream.

You have fantastic potential, capabilities, gifts, and talents in you.

You are never alone.

You know that don’t you, my dear Tash.

 

 

DEJECTED

You cry, silent tears, fatigued, burned out.

How do you capture them in words?

These elusive emotions.

You can smile, laugh, live, work.

You can do many things, while they lurk beneath the surface.

The sadness, the regret, the disappointments, the betrayals.

The endless list of things left unachieved, suspended, regretted.

 

DESPAIR

Life takes its toll on the likes of you and me.

When you think you’re in control, things get out of hand.

Despite your toiling and struggling, its all gone with the wind.

Leaving you completely helpless and winded.

 

Yes, you have wound up in the same place.

Yes, you have found out in due time.

Yes, you have ground hard on your teeth.

Yes, you have drowned in all this fury.

 

DISQUIET

Shaken, shocked, sunken heart.

Horrified, head hardly held high.

Confused, concerned, cornered now.

Half truths, hypocrisy, twisted mirrors.

How life can value loose, dependent on the prism one chooses to look through.

Mirror image once limpid, now a deformed hazy sight.

Sighing, for cannot allow oneself to weep.

Innocent conceptions shaken, shattered.

Beautiful, peaceful haven no more.

Tensions, frictions, now so rife.

Ripping, tearing, crushing this bond.

Fragile, fragmented, diminishing bond.

Grasping, grappling, clutching, desperate.

For without brother who’s keeper, I am.

My being no longer in peace can dwell.

 

DISDAINED

As I walked along the road, I saw him from afar.

The sight of him troubled me.

He sat there alone on the cold, wet pavement.

He had nothing to shelter him from the chill and rain.

He had some bags around him.

Old paper bags, a shabby briefcase, and a broken pram.

I found myself slightly deviating in my course.

I didn’t want to walk too close to where he sat.

I didn’t want to disturb him, so I told myself.

But in reality, it was because he troubled me.

Yes, the sight of him deeply disturbed me.

I tried to pretend that I had not seen his fragile, broken, forgotten person.

To no avail.

 

HURT!

I cried today.

I wept today.

I moaned today.

I yelled today.

I gave in to the anger that had built up in me, today.

I was so full of rage today.

I despaired today.

I caved in today.

I threw in the towel, today.

 

 

RELEASE

Appeased, rested, relaxed.

Assuaged, renewed, revived.

These feelings wash over me.

I am exhausted, spent emotionally.

I am drained nicely so.

I am much lighter, for the load is no more.